OT: Dad Joke Thread....
I always love a good dad joke...Post one up if u got one.
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A man is running away from a lion, and is about to be eaten. He drops down to his knees and begins to pray.
"Lord, LORD! Please turn the heart of this lion Christian ..." He stops, and hears behind him the lion praying.
"Lord, bless this food I am about to eat ..."
Hurry-up Vikings, we ain't getting any younger!
dadevike wrote:
minor correction: instead of amnesiac (someone who lost his memory) use insomniac (someone who lays awake - has trouble sleeping). But funny joke nonetheless.
Ok, I am the amnesiac and you are 100% correct.
Montana Tom wrote:
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.
Haha, I like those.
Wife told me to add ketchup to the grocery list...Now I can't read the damn thing
"Honey, have you seen the dog bowl?"
I didnt know the dog could bowl?!
Hurry-up Vikings, we ain't getting any younger!
I don't know if this is a dad joke but I'll tell it anyway.
When I die, I want the Vikings to be my pallbearers. That way they can let me down one last time.
And btw, I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Did you hear an Australian bank just gave a car loan to an animal? Apparently the animal was already Koalafied
Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Cuz they're extinct
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can't jump.
What does Kwesi and a storm door have in common? Both can stop a good draft
A Cheeseburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says to her, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Hurry-up Vikings, we ain't getting any younger!
Did you hear that scientists recently worked on making the world's largest suction cup?
I really don't know how they pulled that off.
Hurry-up Vikings, we ain't getting any younger!
Commas are important.
Let's eat Grandma.
Let's eat, Grandma.
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A termite walks into a bar. He asks..."Is the bar tender here?"
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Bad puns are how eye roll (I actually have this t-shirt)
In and ode to Goldfinger (the best Bond movie btw)
Hurry-up Vikings, we ain't getting any younger!
How much does it cost to swim with a shark?
An arm, and a leg.
Hurry-up Vikings, we ain't getting any younger!
What did the groundhog’s trainer tell him before the Olympics?
Gopher gold.
Hurry-up Vikings, we ain't getting any younger!
Just for the Super Bowl:
"Do you know the definition of apathy?"
"I don't care."
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